the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
