Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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