Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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