Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
