first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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