She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
My balls are so social today.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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