dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
