u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
