dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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