is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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