it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
