i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
