i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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