My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My vagina just clenched in fear
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
