omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
