Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
