dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
