I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
