I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize