??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize