Dual....:-)
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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