She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
