I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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