I can't breathe out the right side of my face
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
