As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize