I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize