I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
