I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize