And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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