How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
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