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• (904): View more from Florida

  Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'

  (1-904): View more from Florida

  wtf?

  (904): View more from Florida

  It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.

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• (561): View more from Florida

  he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him

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• (716): View more from New York

  i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Go back and try to find another to go home with.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window

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• (904): View more from Florida

  I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life

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• (714): View more from California

  I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  she's p upset bro

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  Where is he. I have a sword.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work

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• (801): View more from Utah

  I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can

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