sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
