I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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