I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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