remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize