Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
