Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You can't just leave with hair like that
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
