I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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