I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
