i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
