No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
