ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
