If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
