remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
