Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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