This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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