Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
