the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Still dying that you shit outside
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Randomize