fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
