talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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