Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize