erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
