ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
