Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize