i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Randomize
