Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
